What is Your Money Mindset? Why All Moms Need to Know
If the thought of money stresses you out, you are definitely not alone. According to multiple studies and surveys, around 70-80% of moms in the United States report money-related stress. This is not surprising considering how expensive child care is, the rising price of groceries, and societal pressure to spend money. It can all be so overwhelming. But what if I told you it’s not necessarily about how much money we have (or don’t have), but the way we think about money. This is called our money mindset, and it will either add to our stress or help us take control.
What is a Money Mindset?
Your money mindset is essentially the set of beliefs, attitudes, and mental frameworks that shape how you perceive and interact with money. It influences your habits and how you make financial decisions. Understanding your particular money mindset can help you gain insight into your behaviors and make changes that will improve your financial life.
Common Money Mindsets
Some money mindsets are positive whereas others are negative. The way you grew up is a powerful factor in which type of mindset you develop. Here is a list of some of the most common mindsets with examples:
sCARCITY mINDSET
A scarcity mindset is the belief that there is never enough money, time, or opportunities. People with this type of mindset have a lot of anxiety regarding money and often make decisions based on fear. They are always thinking of potential future emergencies (i.e. car breaks down), terrified that they will not have money when they need it. Examples of behaviors associated with this mindset are being excessively frugal, avoiding investments, and not spending money on memorable experiences even when they can afford it.
Abundance mindset
The opposite of a scarcity mindset is an abundance mindset. This mindset is the belief that there will always be more where that came from, whether it is money, opportunities, or time. These people are more likely to invest their money, save for long-term goals, and believe that financial growth and freedom is possible. They celebrate other people’s financial success and see it as motivation, instead of a threat to their own financial journey.
FIXED MINDSET
A fixed money mindset is the belief that your financial situation is static. People with this mindset believe their financial situation is set in stone and there is little to nothing they can do to change it. They might say things like, “I am just bad with money” or “We will never be able to get ahead.”
To them, their finances are black and white with no potential for improvement or change. This type of thinking leads to lack of motivation to change their behaviors or even learn the basics of finance.
growth mindset
Unlike a fixed mindset, someone with a growth money mindset believes they can learn and improve their financial skills. They focus on the potential to improve their financial situation over time, rather than the limitations of their current circumstances. Behaviors someone with this mindset might demonstrate are: taking an online beginner’s course on investing, saving $50 a month into an emergency fund, or listening to a podcast about money on the way to work.
ENTITLEMENT MINDSET
People with an entitlement mindset always believe they deserve everything they desire whether or not they have earned or can afford it. This can lead to overspending and debt accumulation because they spend without considering the financial impact.
People with an entitlement mindset focus on what they feel is owed to them, rather than what they can actively work toward achieving. A phrase someone with this mindset might say is, “It’s not fair that I have to stick to a budget. I should be able to buy whatever I want.”
guilt mindset
Someone with a guilt mindset feels guilty whenever they spend money, even with it is within their means. They lack balance when it comes to spending, especially on themself. A guilt money mindset often leads to feelings of inadequacy or shame around finances which can result in undercharging, underspending, or avoiding financial growth.
An example of something a person with this mindset might think or say is, “If I make too much money, people will think I’m selfish or greedy.” They feel guilty when they are successful because they think they don’t deserve it.
SURVIVOR MINDSET
When someone has a survivor mindset, their primary focus is just to “get by”. Their decisions are made day to day just focusing on the basics with little thought or planning for the future. They feel they can never get and stay ahead.
Some behaviors a person with this mindset might demonstrate are not putting money aside each month for emergencies, avoiding investing and saving for retirement, or not spending money to learn a new skill that could lead to increased income.
generosity mindset
People with a generosity money mindset prioritize giving over personal luxuries or accumulating wealth for themselves. They find more joy and fulfillment in helping others than in spending on material things. While this is great, it’s important these people understand how to responsibly manage their money so they can keep giving without creating a financial strain on themselves.
AVOIDANCE MINDSET
People with an avoidance mindset tend to ignore or procrastinate on dealing with important financial manners. They might avoid looking at their total debt, credit card bills, or fail to set up a budget. This can lead to missed payments, late fees, and increasing debt.
Some things a person with an avoidance mindset might say are, “I don’t look at my bank account because it stresses me out,” or “I’m not going to open my mail right now because it is probably just more bills.”
The Impact of Each Money Mindset on Moms and Their Families
While your money mindset and subsequent behaviors are your own, they will influence your children’s lives and relationships with money. Kids are like sponges and they pick up on your attitude and usually develop similar beliefs over time.
Think about your own parent’s attitudes and beliefs around money. Did you end up forming similar beliefs or share the same type of struggles? Here are some examples of motherhood specific behaviors for each money mindset:
scarcity mindset in moms
Moms with a scarcity mindset have a difficult time letting go of money due to fear of not having it when needed. This might lead them to avoid spending money on fun family experiences or not allowing their kids to participate in extracurricular activities and sports. These moms often compare themselves to other families, thinking things such as “they must have more money than us” or “our family will never be able to do that”.
A common phrase their kids might hear is “we can’t afford it.” This is frequently said, even when it isn’t true. This can can cause children to grow up feeling like they are “poor” which can lead to feelings of resentment. Kids learn to view money as something that is scarce and difficult to manage which can negatively affect their financial future.
ABUNDANCE MINDSET in moms
Moms with an abundance mindset will typically say “yes” to experiences or different things their children want because they are confident that there will always be a way to find or earn more money. They see possibilities rather than limitations and use money as a tool to create opportunities for their family.
A mom with this mindset might encourage her children to find creative ways to earn money such as a lemonade stand, shoveling snow, or a lawn mowing business. These kids grow with a healthy, optimistic view surrounding money which they carry into adulthood.
fixed mindset in moms
If a mom has a fixed money mindset, she believes her family’s financial situation is set in stone and there is little to nothing she can do to change it. She might tell herself that she is “bad with money” and use this as a justification for not learning how to budget, invest, or manage her finances better.
A common phrase her children might hear is “people like us cannot do those things” or “that is for rich people.” Kids will often internalize this type of mindset which can lead to limited financial literacy and success in the future.
growth mindset in moms
When a mom has a growth mindset, she sets a positive example and shows her kids that financial knowledge and skills can be learned and improved. She seeks out learning opportunities and resources such as books, blogs, podcasts, or even online courses. Instead of believing she has already reached her max income potential, she looks for ways to increase it such as asking for a raise, starting a side hustle, or selling stuff her family is no longer using.
She makes positive changes when needed and sets financial goals such as saving for a family vacation and creating an emergency fund. A mom with a growth mindset feels confident and empowered to teach her kids about money so they have a greater chance of being financially successful in the future.
Check out this article about Building Money Skills in Kids to learn better ways to teach your children about finance.
ENTITLEMENT MINDSET in moms
Some behaviors a mom with an entitled mindset might demonstrate are overspending on gifts for her kids or taking the family on luxurious vacations without considering any of the long-term financial impacts. They often have impulsive spending habits and focus on wants over needs.
These moms might express frustration or resentment about having to stick to a budget saying things like “it’s not fair” or “I shouldn’t have to worry about money all the time.” Their children may grow up believing they “deserve” to have money or nice things without having to put in any effort which can lead to poor financial habits later in life.
guilt mindset in moms
If a mom has a guilt mindset surrounding money, she will prioritize spending on everything other than herself. It makes her feel guilty because she believes the money should be spent on the kids or household instead. This type of belief can quickly lead to burnout and poor mental health since the mom is completely neglecting her own self-care and needs.
A mom with this mindset might overspend due to feeling guilty that her kids don’t have the same things as their peers, like brand-name clothes or the latest toys. Her children will see the self-sacrificing behavior of their mom (especially girls) and internalize the same type of mindset when they are adults.
survivor mindset in moms
A mom with a survivor mindset is so focused on the immediate day to day needs of her family, she will avoid saving any money for the future. This type of behavior usually leads to significant financial struggles down the road. This mom is typically living paycheck to paycheck, unable to break out of that cycle.
Whenever unexpected expenses come up such as a car or home repairs, she has to rely on high-interest credit cards or loans to cover the costs which makes it even harder to get ahead. A mom with this mindset is constantly worrying about money and has no sense of financial security. Over time, her kids will sense this insecurity and begin to internalize it themselves.
generosity mindset in moms
While being generous is a positive trait, moms with this type of mindset will sometimes sacrifice their own budget and financial goals to help others. She might frequently donate to charities or contributes to every school fundraiser and extracurricular activity. A mom with this mindset places a high value on helping others. While she is coming from a place of abundance and kindness, she needs to be sure she is balancing her giving with the financial needs of her and her family.
avoidance mindset moms
Some examples of behaviors that a mom with an avoidance mindset might demonstrate are not looking at her bank account or frequently tossing mail to the side for weeks at a time leading to missed bill payments. She might put off opening a college savings or retirement fund, causing her and her children to miss out on years of compounding interest.
Another common behavior is to avoid having conversations about money with her partner or children because she finds it uncomfortable and fears conflict. Her kids usually aren’t taught anything about finance except for what they learn in school, which we all know is very little. This type of behavior makes financial problems worse and perpetuates a vicious generational cycle.
Shifting Your Money Mindset
These mindsets and behaviors are often passed down generation after generation and can significantly impact the course of one’s life. The good news is you can change from having a negative financial mindset to a positive one. But how do we actually start making money mindset shifts? It does take time, but there are tips you can start implementing today to start heading in the right direction.
1) PraCTICE GRATITUDE
To shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance, start a weekly gratitude journal. Write down 3-5 good things that you’re grateful for each week making sure at least a couple of them are related to your finances (e.g., steady income, a safe place to live, ability to buy groceries). Doing this regularly helps rewire your brain to focus on the positive (what your have) instead of on the negative (what you lack).
2) lEARN ABOUT FINANCES
Improve your financial literacy by reading books, following personal finance podcasts or blogs, or even taking an online finance course (there are free ones available). This is the best way to shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. You will probably be surprised at how quickly this shift can take place once you get started.
Not only will you feel more confident managing your money, you will have the confidence to teach your children about finance which will greatly impact their adult life. The more knowledge you have, the less overwhelming money feels.
Check out this article to learn 12 Steps to Make Paying Off Debt Easier.
3) MAKE ROOM IN YOUR BUDGET FOR YOU
If you suffer from a guilt mindset, it is important that you start making space in your budget for you. Save a set amount of money aside each month that is specifically designated for your own personal self-care or enjoyment. This will help decrease feelings of guilt and reduce burnout. This approach will have a positive effect on your mindset, shifting your thinking from “I can’t spend money on anything” to “I’m in control of where my money goes”.
4) REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MONEY
Pay close attention to your thoughts. When a negative thought about money pops up, challenge it with a positive alternative. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I’ll never be able to take my kids on vacation” reframe it to “If I save a little bit of money from each paycheck and find creative ways to save, I will be able to take my kids on vacation”. This shift in your inner dialogue helps rewire your brain to focus on solutions and progress, rather than staying stuck in the problem.
5) SET SMALL, ACHIEVABLE FINANCIAL GOALS
Break up large financial goals into smaller, more manageable goals. For example, instead of focusing on paying off $10,000 worth of student loan debt, make a goal to pay an extra $100 each month. Meeting these mini money goals will give you a sense of accomplishment that reinforces a positive mindset and motivates you to keep going.
6) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE FINANCIAL INFLUENCES
Have you ever heard the saying, “You are who you surround yourself with”? Well, it is 100% true. But what if you don’t have any positive influences in your life? Thanks to the internet, that is no problem. There are so many blogs, podcasts, or social media accounts (check out my Instagram) you can follow that promote smart money habits and encourage positive financial thinking. Surrounding yourself with these voices will inspire you and help change the way you think about money.
Check out the 13 Best Personal Finance Podcasts for Women.
7) uSE POSITIVE MONEY AFFIRMATIONS
Write down or say positive money affirmations such as “I am in control of my finances” or “Every day, I am getting closer to being debt-free”. Using affirmations might feel weird at first, but consistently repeating positive statements will rewire your brain to focus on abundance and possibility instead of scarcity and lack of control.
8) celebrate small wins
No matter how small the financial achievement is, make sure you take a moment to acknowledge your progress and reward yourself in some way. It can be as simple as treating yourself to an ice cream cone or spending a night watching a new series on Netflix. Making a point to celebrate your wins reinforces positive feelings about money and keeps you motivated.
As you can see, understanding your money mindset is the first step to taking control of your finances. This is even more important when you’re a mom because the way you think about money also shapes your children’s beliefs and attitudes surrounding money. There are many different ways to create a positive money mindset, and small, intentional changes will make a big impact over time. By embracing a healthier mindset, you’re not only improving your finances, you are changing your children’s future.
